Screen Printer of the Month: Brave Moonman

One Small Step for Brave Moonman, A Giant Leap for Style
By Lux

Self-proclaimed jack of all trades and master of none, Lindsey, is known for her fun and funky 80s inspired style. Items like mix tape pouches, floppy disk pins and calculator watches (!) share space in her Etsy shop along with the cool retro 80s style tees that first got my attention. Upon further inspection of her inventory I have decided that I want one of everything. And it appears that so do many others. Lindsey, who is based in Oakland, tends to have a lot of repeat buyers. It’s the same thing as trying to eat just one chip, you can’t have just one mix tape pouch. They come in so many cool color combos that it’s hard to choose a favorite. And who could pass up the chance to own a calculator watch? It’s a total conversation piece. You know that everyone is going to be asking you where you got it! With t-shirts and accessories inspired by the likes of Jem and the Holograms, nerd culture and even Lindsey’s own older brother; Brave Moonman is a total find for fans of 80s nostalgia. And it’s all operated by an artist who is barely old enough to remember the 80s!

With a degree in Apparel Design and Merchandising under her belt, Lindsey passed on getting a conventional job in the industry and started selling on Etsy in 2006 under the username lindseyporter. (She later opened an account under the name BraveMoonman.) Like many of her fellow “craft-trepreneurs” she resists the idea of a schedule and prefers to set her own hours. Also like so many of us, she was crafting practically out of the womb and couldn‘t imagine herself doing anything lame like working in a cubicle. When her signature Nintendo pouch became a popular item a friend suggested that she make cassette tape pouches and then those took off as well. The idea machine kept right on humming. Since then she has expanded her collection to include other items like her adorable mini 2X2 inch original paintings and my personal favorite: the black on gold tiger print t-shirt.

For now, Lindsey is taking her business one happy customer at a time. Despite her lack of “real” work experience, 100% of her buyers agree that her customer service is excellent. And it’s pretty obvious her product will keep people coming back for more. While she doesn’t know her ultimate direction, she is having fun and enjoying her craft and all the support she gets from fans of her work. The only thing that’s missing is your appreciation photo!

Get your dope Brave Moonman gear here.

Tutorial: Friendship Bracelet

Basic Friendship Bracelet
By Lux

Difficulty: 1 out of 5

Materials:
Embroidery floss (in several colors or just a few or even just one, you choose)
Clipboard
Scissors
Your creative genius!

1) Measure out about 20 inches of embroidery floss and cut. This should give you plenty of “breathing room” in case you make a mistake and have to cut off and start over. Cut a few more 20 inch pieces. How many depends on how wide you want your bracelet. (I used 6 and ended up with a ¼ inch wide bracelet.) (photo)

2) Tie your floss pieces in a knot about 3 inches from the end and clip the knot onto the clipboard. This will help stabilize your bracelet while you make it. (photo)

3) If you have more than one color, choose a color to make the first row. (I chose red.) If not, pick any piece to begin. This will be string #1. Wrap this string around the string next to it (string #2, orange in the picture) in a clockwise motion (photo) and pull through. (photo)

4) Wrap the next string in the row (string #3, yellow in the picture) in the same clockwise motion. Continue on down the row until you have wrapped string #6 (purple in the picture). (photo)

5) You have made your first row. Repeat the wrapping process with string #2 (orange in the picture), string #3 (yellow in the picture) and so on. (photo)

6) Continue on in the same pattern until your bracelet is as long as you need it. Tie off the end and cut leaving about 3 inches past the knot. This will give you plenty of slack to tie the bracelet onto your best bud.

Tips:
-The more strings you add the longer they have to be in order to ensure a long enough bracelet.
-Keep your knots tight, this will help make the texture nice and even.
-These bracelets tend to twist. You can flatten them out by using an iron on a medium heat setting.
-To keep the individual threads of the embroidery floss from separating you can wax them first using a recently lighted candle.

Variations:
Try for a friendship necklace or a belt if you have the patience!

It’s An Inner-city Thing

In the 90's Gwen Stefani dabbled in this style and put her own spin on it.




It’s An Inner-city Thing
By Lux

The 80’s were witness to a wide variety of types and styles of fashion. While not always explicable, it seems that clothing was experimented with more at that time that at any other time in history. Even today, true innovation is very rarely seen. Often designers, musicians, actors and others in the public eye look back to resuscitate some trend or another of the past and appear to be progressive. In fact, one can Google “80’s fashion” and countless pages of sites will come up. Browsing through some of them, one can see how elements of several of these styles have resurfaced many times since the 80’s. But there is one thing I have yet to see on any of these 80’s fashion sites. Site after site something is missing.

The 4 major types of mainstream fashion in the 80’s are usually represented: Hip Hop (ala Run DMC with oversize clothing, chunky gold chains and Adidas), 80’s Punk (torn clothing, spikes and studs, Mohawks and hair in every color), Glam/Hair Metal (BIG hair of course, inches of makeup, tight pants and lots of leather) and the oft ridiculed Preppy/Yuppie style (“young urban professionals“) which consisted of khaki pants or shorts paired with pastel shirts, sweaters tied around the shoulders, oversize blazers and a generally “clean cut” look. Then there are the various sub-genres within each of these groups as well as the rare, but occasional, cross influences. However, like I said, something is missing. Where are the Cholas?

I grew up in a lot of places but mostly in San Jose, California, in the poorest areas, dare I say the “ghettoes” of SJ. In the 80’s gangs were a huge problem. There were (still are as I hear it) two major warring gangs: the Crips and the Bloods. Within each there were various crews of course. But strangely enough, members on both sides of the feud, no matter what the crew, shared the same style. No matter what side you claimed the clothing was practically the same. It was so similar that it was almost like a uniform. Guys and girls both wore basically the same articles. A typical outfit consisted of a pair of Dickies or Ben Davis pants (cuffed and creased), a white ribbed “wife beater” tank top (sometimes air brushed with the particular person’s nickname) or plain white T-shirt, a flannel also called a Pendleton (red or blue depending on what your affiliation) and the signature Cholo hairstyle. Hair was a big deal. It was common for one to spend a significant amount of time on one’s hair. The look could not be completed without the proper hairstyle. Cholas and Cholos both had hair reminiscent of the 50’s which is, in fact, what they were trying to emulate if not in dress then in spirit. (The very first Cholos were the children of Latin American immigrants in the 50‘s. But back then they wore “Zoot Suits” which were basically cheap, slightly exaggerated versions of the pinstripe suits white American gangsters wore.) For girls the hair had to be teased and sprayed into a tall bouffant (think Elvira), for guys it was generally feathered back, moussed and often protected by a hair net. Adornments on the girls were kept to a minimum, the makeup however tended to be heavy on the eyes and the questionable lip liner sans lipstick trend seems to have began during this time. The guys had their own set of adornments as well in the form of tattoos. The Virgin Mary, gang affiliations, family surnames in Old English text and faces of loved ones who had passed away were popular. Some Cholos would sport prison tattoos as status symbols showing them to be “real” gang bangers who had served time. And the “rag” that those who had been jumped (physically beaten by several members of a crew) into a gang wore must not be forgotten. It was a paisley bandana in either red or blue. One did well not to get caught alone wearing the wrong color in the wrong neighborhood.

As I was growing up I was surrounded by people who dressed this way. This was what I knew. I was surprised to find when researching 80’s fashion online that this style was so under-represented. The crazy get-ups of Cyndi Lauper and David Lee Roth were what people on TV wore. No one I knew dressed that way, they’d probably get beat down if they did. The 80’s for me were: guys restoring vintage low riders in their garages, Motown oldies from the 50’s and 60’s playing from people’s tape decks and Cholos and Cholas cruising up and down the boulevard. Much like the other 80’s styles I’ve mentioned, this wasn’t just about what you wore; it was a way of life.

Issue #2: Halloween

Cover Art: Spunny

I see we have 8 subscribers now! Yay! As you can see the theme of issue 2 is Halloween. Halloween is and always has been my favorite holiday. There was a point in my childhood when my mother decided that we were all going to be Jehova's Witnesses and so we couldn't celebrate Halloween, or anything else for that matter. I was really bummed for that whole year. It sucked giving up Chrstmas and my birthday and Easter. I was pretty upset that I couldn't make Valentines for my friends. But that was nothing compared to not being able to dress up and go trick-or-treating. I wasn't allowed to carve a pumpkin. I had to skip the class Halloween party. I wanted to celebrate it so much. I would have even taken the inevitable candy induced stomach ache like a champ. Alas, The Watchtower had spoken. Now as an adult I love Halloween more than ever. So I had to make this issue a Halloween issue. This month I've compiled lots of fun things to do, read and see. Tomorrow I will begin publishing all this good stuff including an interview with super talented designer Hilde, a couple of tutorials, a recipe that's perfect for your Halloween party and more.

Check back every day this week for something new. Oh yeah and tell your friends! :P

~Lux

Never Too Early To Plan For Next Year!

Like the title says! If you want to have a kickass costume next year now is a great time to get started...

Etsy Shops:

AngelsBoutique has the most amazingly well made costumes I've seen on Etsy. Srsly.

UpfromtheAshes is affiliated with THE Amy Brown! She has wings, tiaras, masks and jewelry.

ViolentBelle has beautifully detailed head wear including cute devil horns. You can build an entire costume around one of her pieces.

rockinbonesclothing: perfect for those who are too old to dress up but not too old to look hot on Halloween!

babypop has cute super hero costumes for kids AND adults. Also takes custom orders!

Don't have an Ety account? Sign up for free here!

Misc. Links:

Halloween Online: pumpkin carving stencils, decorating ideas, costumes...I LOVE the recipe section.

Halloween Magazine : basically a one stop link listing to everything you would need to make your Halloween it's Halloweeniest.

Halloween on the Web: find haunted houses, costumes, pumpkins, crafts, monsters, party information and more. Also has forums!

History of Halloween: totally cool site. Everything you've always wanted to know about Halloween. Has video as well.

Have any cool links to share?

Tutorial: Painting on Fabric

Here is a two part video tutorial from Emily. I tried fabric painting a couple times but never got the results I wanted. Here Emily shows you the right way to do it! Enjoy!

Fabric Painting
By Emily

Part 1



Part 2



Learn more about Emily here: The Other Scene (official site) and The Other Scene on Etsy!

Tutorial: Voo Doo Doll Necklace

Voo Doo Doll Necklace
By Lux

Difficulty: 1 out of 5

Materials:
6 2.5 inch nails
1 dense piece of craft Styrofoam at least 1 inch thick and 5 inches round (or square)
1 ball of twine
Pen or marker
Craft glue or a hot glue gun
Ruler
Pin
Large plastic needle
Chain (optional)

1) Find the center of your Styrofoam piece and mark it. Push one nail into the. The deeper your nail goes the sturdier your frame will be, but make sure enough of the nail is protruding to loop the twine around. Measure and mark 5 points coming out from the center. Three should come out by about 1¼ inch (or more if you want a bigger doll). And two of them should be about ½ inch longer. The longer two will be the legs. (photo)

2) Push your remaining nails into these points. You’ve just made your frame. (photo)

3) Pull out about 4 inches of twine and secure the end of it to the Styrofoam with a pin. (photo)

4) Begin to loop your twine through the frame in a “flower” type pattern. The loops should be firm but not too tight. Pulling too tight may cause the nails to shift. (photo)

5) Once you’ve looped every outside nail 2 times (or more if depending on the thickness of your twine), pull out about 18 inches of twine from your ball and cut. Wrap this loose end around each of the 5 “limbs” tightly. Go around twice. Remove the pin and tie the two loose ends together forming a secure knot. (photo)

6) Very carefully, slide the nails out of the Styrofoam. Remove all but the center nail. Carefully, use the plastic needle to thread the longer loose end through the center of your doll while removing the center nail. (photo)

7) This longer loose end will become the opening through which you thread your chain, or string later. The loop opposite the legs will be your head. Loop the loose end over it so that it is about ¾ inch longer than the head loop. (photo)

8) Secure this end by tying it to the shorter end in a tight knot. Trim the end to about ¼ inch. (photo)

9) Pull out a few inches of twine and use the plastic needle to thread the end through the middle of you doll. Wrap this end around the head once and tie into a knot. (photo)

10) Make the lower torso by bundling the legs together and wrapping for about ½ inch. (photo)

11) Pick one leg and begin wrapping it all the way to the end. Reverse the direction and wrap it back to where it meets the torso. (photo)

12) Do the same to the other leg. When you get to the torso continue wrapping up to where the arms meet the chest. (photo)

13) Choose an arm and begin wrapping it. When you reach the end reverse your direction until you get to the chest. Wrap the other arm the same way. (photo)

14) Begin wrapping the head. To make it round concentrate on the middle of the loop. Don‘t forget to leave a part of the longer loop sticking out so you can thread you chain through. (photo)

15) To finish cut the twine about 6 inches away from the doll. Use the plastic needle to weave the loose end into the chest. Trim the end. Use hot glue or a clear drying craft glue to secure all your ends and loops. String your doll on a chain or extra twine or even ribbon. The choice is yours! (photo)

Tips:
-When wrapping, do it as tightly as possible so your work doesn’t come undone.
-The thinner the twine you use, the more control you have over what your doll will look like, but you may have to do more wrapping to get it thick enough.
-Securing the ends of you limbs with craft glue is not necessary but it will make sure your doll lasts a good long time.

Variations:
-You can use other colors of twine to add details such as clothing.
-Hair can be added by using a plastic needle and some yarn or embroidery floss.
Once you get the hang of making these you can even alter the frame and adjust your wrapping technique to make animals like turtles or giraffes.


I showed you mine, now show me yours!

Fiction: Skin Deep Part 4

Skin Deep: 4

Seeing the nurse’s face reminds me even more strongly that something just isn’t right. She looks so familiar. I know I’ve seen her somewhere else before, but it’s just not coming to me. It’s just beyond my reach. She shows me to a room and before she leaves tells me to undress completely and put a gown on. I undress. My heart starts pounding when I look down. It got worse in the last hour. I’m starting to feel nauseated. I have to lie down. The doctor comes in to examine me. This time I feel no attraction to him, just repulsion. There’s something about him that I didn’t notice before. It’s as if there is an aura of decay around him. I can’t even speak, I feel so sick. While he’s examining me he mumbles to himself and seems pleased with what he’s seeing. Finally he tells me to get up and go over to the mirror I didn’t notice before. Looking into it I start to cry. There are huge patches of black rotting tissue all over my body. Then anger overtakes me and I start to threaten him. He just laughs and tells me that the surgery came out exactly they way he had planned. Then he says something strange. He says there is a riddle that I haven’t solved yet. As he’s saying this his face begins to change. He is the client from the club. Now he’s the nurse who called me in. Now he’s the TV anchor from the news show. Finally he is a woman with a bullet hole in her chest. Without knowing how, I know exactly who she is.

I’m in a nightmare. I run out of the office, past the nurse, into the waiting room. I glimpse the magazine I was reading: The National Journal of Embalming. A wave of nausea washes over me. I keep running. I know if I can just make it home I can wake up from this dream. Somehow I do make it home and my boyfriend is waiting for me. I’m so happy to see him I collapse in his arms. He asks me what’s wrong, but I can’t even form the words. He takes me upstairs to my room and puts me to bed. As he looks down at me, his face changes and he becomes the most vile thing I’ve ever seen. He has patches of black rot all over his body. His hair is falling out even as I look at him and pieces of his skull are becoming visible. Then he speaks to me with my own voice. I don’t know what he says because I can’t hear him over the screams. I scream until I pass out again.

And that’s how I came to be here. Every time I wake up I feel good. I know I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I know that things are coming together for me. In this world my mind completely forgets what happened to my body. Until I get to the mirror that is. But sometimes, just sometimes, He likes to mix it up. Sometimes I make it as far as my car and get on the freeway where some one crashes into me and I end up on the shoulder. Then he comes along in one of his many disguises and shoots me in the chest only to have me wake up in my room and start all over again. The worst part is I can’t get used to it. Whether I go only as far as the mirror or as far as the shooting, I keep forgetting what happened right up until the moment I see him. Right up until the moment I see the mirror. It’s the same difference because we are now part of each other. I think that’s what makes me scream. He likes to hear me scream.


The End

Screen Printer of the Month: Rocky the Zombie!

Screen Printer Hand Painter of the Month: Rocky the Zombie!

By Lux

Twenty four year old artist, Rhiannon (isn’t that a pretty name?), like me is a fan of Roman Dirge. Even the quickest of peeks (though you’ll want to stay longer) through her Etsy shop Rocky the Zombie will show you how he has influenced her own art. Rocky the Zombie is a collection of adorable well designed shirts, totes and even onesies for babies with style! Her items are very reasonably priced and would you believe she hand paints her designs? She claims that each piece has it’s own alterations that reflect her moods but they are so well done that one can hardly tell they are not professionally silk-screened. While Rhiannon has considered silk-screening, she chooses to stay true to her art and it’s handmade esthetic. Creating each design from scratch is the most enjoyable part of running her business. She’s not however, just a one trick pony. Rhiannon also screenprints, appliqués and works with acrylics. This multi-talented artist, originally from Wales, has 8 years of education in art, illustration, fashion and textiles as well as a ton of experience. One only needs check out her cute, yet slightly twisted drawings to know that this is someone who knows her stuff. So you wont be surprised to learn that she has a Bachelor’s degree with honors. But like most true artists, her inspiration comes from real life. She credits family with teaching her the most important things.

Rhiannon got her start in the business side of things like so many of us did-selling on eBay. With encouragement from her boyfriend she put a single hand painted T-shirt on eBay and watched in disbelief as the bids climbed higher and higher. Her business became something more than just the hobby that eBay is for most people. It started booming. After that the decision of what to do after she earned her degree became clear: self-employment. Rocky the Zombie has been her job ever since. Not just a job, but a passion as well. Her well deserved success comes not only from genuine talent, but a love for creating. And it’s evident to every customer who receives one of her unique, hand painted items. What makes her work so appealing is best summed up in her own words:

“I LOVE black and white photography, and line drawings.. sometimes the most minimal line drawings hold so much more expression and emotion than an entire complex painting. And I love the simplicity in that.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Rhiannon currently sells through Etsy, here. She also takes custom orders. (Bonus!)

Fiction: Skin Deep Part 3

Skin Deep: 3
By Lux

When I wake up I feel pretty good. The pain of surgery has still to touch me. I must have a higher threshold than I thought. I get up and go to my dresser to check out the goods. I didn’t really get a chance to see them before. They’re swollen as to be expected, but what I didn’t expect was the small black spot on one side. I reach for my phone and call the doctor’s office but get a recording. I didn’t even realize how late it was. Oh well I guess I’ll call tomorrow. There’s no pain so it’s probably nothing. Looking around the house I find that my boyfriend,
the dear rat, is still M.I.A. I call him but he’s still not picking up. He’d better not be out with some slut right now. Even if he isn’t, he’s still going to hear it when he gets home. This is unbelievable! I deserve better than this and what’s more I can get better than this even on my worst day. It’s so unlike him too. I wonder if something happened? Now I’m starting to worry. I check the messages and there’s nothing. I call his office, no answer. I even look for a note and nothing. Well if something really did happen I would know about it by now or I‘ll be hearing about it soon. I go over to the kitchen to make something to eat. I’m still not very hungry but I figure I should eat. Keep my strength up and all that. I take my food to the living room and turn on the news. It’s the sports report. Sports don’t really interest me so my mind begins to wander. I look up a few minutes later and notice that the anchor who usually reports the local news has been replaced by a woman. She looks familiar but I can’t place her.

I have no appetite. I can’t even eat. But I am really tired again. I start to doze as the new anchor reads a story of someone who died during a routine surgery. I think I hear her say the doctor who performed the surgery has disappeared. That’s what happens when you don’t do your research I guess. You get taken for a ride and it appears you can wind up dead too. More natural selection in action. But I’m too tired to care right now so I fall asleep.

The sound of my phone wakes me up. I’m in my room again. Funny, I thought I fell asleep on the couch. Maybe he came home and put me to bed. I walk over to the dresser and pick it up. It’s the doctor’s office. They tell me I missed my follow up appointment this morning and would I like to come in this afternoon. They have an opening, but it‘s in an hour. I tell her that my appointment was supposed to be next week. She informs me that it was today. I argue that it’s impossible because I only got home yesterday. According to her records I was discharged last Thursday. Something isn’t right. Someone in their office screwed up. But I take the appointment anyway since I am still worried about the black spot I saw. Before I hang up, the nurse assures me that it’s probably bruising. It doesn’t look like any bruise I’ve ever seen. I check it out now and find that it grew bigger overnight. A lot bigger. Now there are spots on the other breast too and there is some kind of odor coming off them. What. The. Fuck. They still don’t hurt. I’ve actually not had to take any of the pain medicine. But this better not be a huge problem or someone’s looking at a law suit. A big fat one. I get dressed quickly and run out the door. I don’t even have time to see if my boyfriend came home after all.

On my way to the doctor’s office I’m getting even more worked up. I’ve been in a haze for days. I can’t seem to stay awake for more than a few hours. I can’t seem to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. I have no appetite. My boyfriend is nowhere to be found. Now there’s some black shit growing on me. Oh and the DJ on the radio just informs me that it’s Thursday. How can that be? Yesterday was Thursday. What the hell is going on! I’m starting to get kind of freaked out. A lot of things are not making sense. Come to think of it I haven’t really seen anyone the past few days. Except for the nurse before I left the hospital, I’m wracking my brain trying to think if I’ve talked to anyone lately. But I can’t remember. Oh wait the cab driver. Of course! But try as I might I can’t remember what he looked like, or sounded like or any other detail about him. I’m not even totally sure it was a him. I don’t even remember paying for the ride. I must have been pretty damn out of it.

So after rushing to get here and driving through the worst traffic ever they make me wait. The bastards. I’m getting more and more irritated. What the hell? There isn’t even anyone else in the waiting room. But since I have class I won’t complain, yet. I look for a magazine to flip through. They don’t even have decent magazines here. My choices are Taxidermy Monthly and some medical journal. I choose the latter. While I’m browsing through it I see an ad for Formethanol. It’s the same medication I was prescribed before I left, but something about the ad is bugging me. Or maybe it isn’t the ad itself, maybe it’s the magazine I’m reading. Just as I’m about to turn it over to look at the cover again, the nurse calls me in to see the doctor.

To be concluded…

Debate: Sexy Halloween Costumes-If you've got it flaunt it?

Flaunt it!
By Sheika

Growing up, I was one of those jeans and t-shirt girls with a no-nonsense ponytail. I had skinned elbows and chapped lips and all I cared about was wrestling with the boys. Video games? Check. Plastic swords? Check. Skateboard sketched all over with Sharpies? Definitely check, dude!

But I had a dirty little secret. I enjoyed the silly teen movies my girly cousins made me watch, especially the ones where the dorky girl everyone laughed at took her glasses off and became a beauty. I joined the boys in throwing bugs at the prissy preppy girls at school but secretly envied their pretty braided hair. All too soon, high school came and one by one my guy friends fell prey to feminine wiles.

I was left all alone to traverse the jungle, unskilled at the weapons of lipstick and eyeshadow. Black nail polish was a familiar friend but beyond that loomed the mysteries of mascara. The first time I picked up a pair of tweezers, I almost poked my eye out! No way was I trying that again. In fear, I ran back to my comfort zone and staked out the only style I could pull – natural, “bare faced” beauty (aka. I have no clue how to put on make up so I won't even try!) and comfortable clothes (read: jeans and a plain hoodie.)

Then it hit me like a 2 pound hairdryer. I scoured every store I could find for the perfect outfit. This turned out to be a gaudy sparkly thing in red and gold. To match was a pair of raggedy gold foil pompoms. That's right. I was a blond, pigtailed cheerleader for Halloween! My knobby knees stuck out from under the short pleated skirt and my awkward stick arms looked ridiculous waving the pompoms around. I got some funny looks and a few good laughs. Some said I looked weird, others crazy and some even called my outfit slutty. I was something completely opposite of what I was. I had transformed into someone I'd always been terrified to be, just like my little brother who chose to be Dracula that year.

To this day, I have worn fairytale outfits like Red Riding Hood or classic favorites like Dorothy from Oz. Who can resist those glamorous red shoes? Even tight vinyl Catwoman suits and spandex Wonder Woman costumes have seen their share of spotlight. I couldn't pull off a down-to-there cleavage shirt while grocery shopping and 6 inch heels would kill my feet. Fishnets have a tendency to snag on my toes and there is no way I'd go in to work with long red vampire nails. I may still be that awkward tomboy who wouldn't know lipgloss from blush, but for just one day I can be as silly and goofy or even slutty as I dare!

Learn more about Sheika here. :)

Dressing Up For Halloween: You’re Doing It Wrong
By Lux

Maybe I’m wrong on this one but isn’t it a bit disturbing that adult Halloween costumes appear to be getting skankier and skankier every year? I can’t be the only one bothered by this. Since when did a holiday that is so child oriented turn into a porn fest? Why did Halloween become an excuse to flaunt your body parts? True, there are places and times for such attire. Exotic Erotic in San Francisco is one example. If you’re going to a place like that then shit, do what you want. Private parties are another. But someone tell me why I’m seeing women wearing this crap to work on Halloween. Someone please explain to me when it became OK for moms to take their school age children trick-or-treating in these poorly made, mass produced getups. It just reeks of low self esteem and no self respect. I guess I’m just old fashioned. I guess I’m just a person that believes one doesn’t have to put oneself on display in this way to get noticed. It is a far more confident, interesting and intelligent person who can command attention while dressed modestly. Just look back through history. A great example of such a person was Jackie O. She never looked anything less than classy and put-together. Now she is remembered as a fashion icon. I’d be willing to bet money that it would have never occurred to her to put on a 5 inch long plaid skirt with a white crop top and try to pass it off as a legitimate costume.

Shouldn’t we strive to be like Jackie O.? Shouldn’t that be the example we set for young girls? Instead, one can walk into any Halloween store and see the same cheap costumes available for mass consumption. Choose from slutty cop, slutty maid, slutty school girl, slutty nurse, slutty angel, slutty mermaid, slutty girl scout (OK that’s just wrong!), slutty Alice, etc, etc, etc! Basically any profession/fairy tale character/archetype can turn into some perv’s fantasy. But wait, there’s more! If that isn’t enough to get your eyes rolling or your stomach turning, take a stroll over to the pre-teen section and see the same freaking costumes. Sure they’re a bit toned down and made to fit underdeveloped bodies, but they are basically cut from the same cloth so to speak. We’re training them young these days aren’t we? Training them to believe that attention from the opposite sex is the most important thing and that to obtain this they must present themselves as sexual objects. You may say: “But Lux it’s only once a year. Shouldn’t people be allowed to live a little?” Wrong, it’s not just once a year. This garbage is all over the media year round. We have some celebrity or other’s coochie making headlines every few months. What does that have to do with slutty costumes? Well the costumes may be a once a year occurrence, but they are symptomatic of a bigger issue. One that sadly doesn’t end November first.

But let’s put this aside for a minute. Let me now ask what do these mediocre rags have to do with Halloween? How do they celebrate the spirit of the holiday? Halloween is supposed to be about having fun with friends. It’s supposed to be about enjoying the sensation of being frightened. It’s about trick-or-treating, telling scary stories, watching horror movies and spending hours on a costume you’re sure no one else will be wearing because you put so much time into it. It’s not about uninspired hooker uniforms that would be better off left on the rack. Although, seeing 30 chicks in a row showing off their panties in the same slutty Snow White costume is kind of scary. I do not need or want to see your ass cleavage. If your nipples are this close to popping out of your top, you’re doing it wrong. If one can clearly make out the line where your thighs meet your butt cheeks, you’re doing it wrong. If the trim of you bikini line can be seen through your outfit, you’re so doing it wrong.

Maybe I’m a buzz kill. Maybe I‘m taking this all a bit too seriously. Or maybe I’m a sane person in an insane society. When you’re a mother of two little girls like I am, you tend to think about these things. I sometimes wonder what I will say when the day comes that one of my daughters tries to leave the house in a costume that barely covers her ass. But then I relax knowing that that day will never come because her mama will have raised her better than that.

Where do you stand?

Fiction: Skin Deep Part 2

Skin Deep: 2
By Lux

So it’s a few weeks later and here I am on my way to surgery. I am of course nervous, but mostly thrilled. I can’t wait for this to be done! I know I seem extremely self-confident. Ok I’ll be honest, I’m aware of how most people must see me. Self-centered and arrogant are probably words that others would use to describe me. But the truth is I worked hard to get what I have. I spend so much time improving myself and my place in life that I deserve to be proud of it! I should be allowed to show off. If, in the process of me enjoying my success a few people have a problem with it then, oh well. Most people are not totally happy with who they are so when they see people like me they try to tear us down instead of taking steps to improve their own pathetic lives. It’s called reality. Heck I’m not 100% happy with myself. There has always been a part of me that feels I could look better. That’s why I’m getting this surgery. Let’s face it A cups don’t get you noticed. They don’t leave an impression. The entertainment industry has it’s own form of natural selection. People like me are held to a higher standard. Pressure is put upon us to be perfect. And to tell the truth I wouldn’t have it any other way. My life was never meant to be ordinary. Even though I already have so much to offer, after this doors will open for me. After this I will be the total package.

I reach the hospital and preparations begin. I’m dressed in one of those ugly gowns and being hooked up to all these machines. One of which is an I.V. going into my vein. Later Dr. Lords comes in and explains what will happen. I’ve heard all this before but it’s his job so I just smile and nod. The nurse then injects the I.V. bag with a sedative. For a split second I think I see the fluid turn black. But then I blink and it’s the same clear solution it always was. I start to feel drowsy as they wheel me into the O.R. Now they put the mask over my face. It’s strange, but before I lose consciousness the last thought I have is the image of that car on the shoulder of the freeway and the chalk outline on the ground.

When I come to something doesn’t feel right. I expected to feel groggy and in pain. That’s just part of the deal. But this feels like I’m missing something. Oh well. I’ve never had surgery before, disorientation is probably normal. I love how they already have me on the pain medication. As far as pain goes, I don’t feel a thing. My room is awesome too. It’s like a suite at a four star hotel. I knew this doctor was top tier, but even I wasn’t expecting this. Still, that feeling is there just under the surface. The drugs have made me drowsy though so I drift back to sleep. I spend the first few days of my recovery pretty dazed and hazy. It’s probably the drugs. I don’t mind. I’m sure the alternative totally sucks. Why be in pain if you don’t have to be? So the day comes when it’s time to go home. I’m happy to go. While the nurse has been taking good care of me, the uneasiness I’ve been feeling has not gone away. I attribute it to being here and not in my own bed. Also I have not seen the good doctor at all since before the surgery. Is that normal? Where the hell has he been? I have a follow up appointment so he can’t avoid me forever.

They send me home with plenty of drugs. My prescription for something called Formethanol contains 90 pills. Damn I hope I don’t need that many. How bad is this pain supposed to get? Then something strikes me. I haven’t felt any pain since I woke up. Not for a minute. Not a twinge. The meds they’ve had me on so far must be powerful but I don’t like the side effect of being in a fog. I think I’ll just hold off on taking these pills until I really need them. My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up but he hasn’t shown and he’s not answering his phone. A cab takes me home and I am thoroughly pissed by the time I get there. He’s usually so attentive. He knows I’m probably the hottest woman he’s ever been with so he normally treats me like a queen. When I get inside I find that he, of course, is not home. I don’t know what to do with myself so I go into the kitchen to get something to eat. But as I make myself a sandwich I realize I’m not hungry. Actually I can’t remember the last time I was hungry or even the last time I ate. Weird. I go upstairs. The familiarity of my room makes me feel a little better. Tired too. I pass out on my bed.

To be continued…

"Blood and Guts"

This is a recipe that I came up with when I wanted to make something gross looking, yet tasty for my Halloween party. The taste is similar to Churros, which is a Mexican snack pastry that is deep fried. Enjoy!



Blood and Guts

Ingredients

Guts:
1 T butter
¼ c sugar
1 egg
½ c apple sauce
½ t vanilla
1 ½ c flour
¼ t baking powder
1/8 t salt
¼ t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1/8 t ground cloves
2/3 c milk
Vegetable oil

Blood:
½ c diced strawberries
½ c raspberries
2/3 c sugar

“Blood“:
1) Mix strawberries and raspberries in a bowl and crush them. Set aside.
2) In a small sauce pan combine berries and sugar and cook on med/high heat until mixture begins to bubble. Make sure to stir frequently.
3) When mixture is bubbly turn off the heat and continue stirring until it cools and reaches a syrupy consistency. To make your sauce thicker add more sugar little by little until it looks the way you want. To make it thinner add water little by little until it’s where you want it.


“Guts”:
1) Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and clove. Set aside.
2) Combine sugar and butter in a large mixing bowl.
3) Add egg, vanilla and apple sauce. Stir in completely.
4) Little by little add dry ingredients and mix them in.
5) Add milk a little at a time until the mixture reaches a thick “pancake batter” consistency.
6) In a large pot heat about 3-4 inches of vegetable oil on med/high heat.
7) When the oil is hot, use a ladle to pour small amounts of batter into the pan in elongated “intestine like” shapes. This make take some practice, but you’ll get it.
8) Cook “Guts” until golden brown and use tongs to flip them over and finish the other side.
9) Once both sides are golden brown remove them and place them on a paper towel to drain.
10) Serve with “Blood” sauce drizzled on top or on the side if you prefer. If the sauce has thickened too much, add a little water.

Cheats:
You can make an easier, quicker version of the “Blood” sauce by heating strawberry jam with a little water and pouring it through a strainer.

Tips:
Make the “Blood” sauce first as the guts are best as fresh as possible. This also gives the sauce time to cool and thicken.

Variation:
You can make “Worms in Dirt” by substituting the “Blood” sauce for crumbled chocolate cookies and chocolate syrup.


Questions? Post them here.

Fiction: Skin Deep Part 1

So this is something I've been working on for a little while now. It's been...I don't really know how long it's been since I've tried my hand at fiction. But I thought I would write a scary story a la Tales from the Crypt for this issue to go with the theme. This character is loosely based on three people. 1)An incredibly arrogant girl from a reality show. 2)A fictional character from a teen drama series. 3)A girl I was sort of friends with (on the surface anyway) on the internet until recently. But those three do not 100% equal this character. She has a little bit of me thrown in, just a tad. And even though she's based on that many people she is surprisingly uncomplicated. hahaha So without further ado, here she is...

Skin Deep: 1
By Lux

I don’t know anymore how long I’ve been here. I’ve lost track. There are no days or nights. There is only waking and dreaming. Every time I wake up I feel good. I know I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I know that things are coming together for me. My career is going to take off. After working so hard and going through so much to get to this point, I’ve earned it. It’s at this moment, this very thought, when I start to feel as though something isn’t right. It’s like the feeling you get when can’t remember if you locked up when you left home. It’s small but persistent, nagging even. I can’t pinpoint what’s causing it as I get out of bed and walk over to my dresser. But when I get there and see what’s waiting for me it all comes back in an instant. That’s when the screaming starts. Hold up, I’m getting ahead of myself. I think I need to go back and start at the beginning. Once upon a time…

I have an appointment for a consultation with the best surgeon around. He’s going to upgrade my A’s to C’s and consequently my exotic dancer job to a part in a TV series. This guy is amazing. I’ve seen his work. He has worked on actresses, pop stars and socialites. I got his name from a client at the club I work at. Dr. Lords‘ specialty is implants. You know when the newest teen queen suddenly goes from a B cup to a full C and insists she’s had a growth spurt, but you can’t tell for sure? It’s him. He is incredibly in demand and I got an appointment with him. I really can’t believe how lucky I am. His stuff looks so real it would fool an ex-boyfriend. So I’m on my way to the appointment when this idiot cuts me off and I bump into her. My car seems undamaged but she is pulling off to the side. I consider stopping but I can’t be late, so oh well. I keep driving. I’m sure she’s just fine. Besides it was her fault she should be glad I’m not angry enough to stop and chew her out. I’m driving a $45,000 car. What a dumb bitch.

I make it to my appointment just in time. The doctor is very nice and unbelievably hot on top of that. It’s a good thing he’s a professional. Otherwise I don’t think we could resist each other for a minute. The initial exam goes great. We set up a date for the surgery. He doesn’t do payments. That’s not a problem for me, because of my job in such a lucrative industry I can afford to pay in cash. I can already feel my life getting better. It’s pretty great so far though. I’m 22. I have great genes. I live in a big beautiful house, well it‘s really an estate. I can come and go as I please. I have a boyfriend, he’s old but he’s loaded. He wanted to pay for the surgery but I wouldn’t let him. I don’t like owing anyone anything. I do however like the gifts he gives me, jewelry, clothes, the car… I have it made. All I have to do now is get that part. Dr. Lords assures me that I’ll have a quick and fairly painless recovery. I’m finally going to get what I deserve. All the recognition, the fans, the awards…I can picture it now.

I get home without incident. Looks like the idiot drivers called it a day. This thought makes me chuckle. I’m really quite funny, I’ve been told. I have a lot more going for me than just looks. I have a great sense of humor, I’m fun to be around and I’m also intelligent. For example a lot of people might be surprised to know that I watch the news. I turn it on now. The top story is about a woman who was murdered on the freeway. Apparently she was involved in an accident that jacked her car but the other car didn’t stop. Another person stopped under the guise of helping her out and ended up shooting and robbing her. What a world we live in. What is wrong with people? Then they show a photo of the crime scene complete with chalk outline on the ground next to her car. Oh no. It’s the car from earlier. I feel bad, but then again the accident was her fault and I’m not the one who shot her. Don’t get me wrong, what happened was tragic. It was truly, truly sad. But things like this are a form of natural selection. Survival of the fittest. If she was a better driver she might be alive right now. It’s the law of the universe. The world continues to move forward, often at a pace too fast for some. It’s not wrong or right. It just is.

To be continued…